Mixed emotions and all the best

Today has been interesting to say the least. My morning did’t go too well. My mother got onto me about little things that were blown far out of proportion, maybe it would have destroyed my day, but the weird thing is, it didn’t. My friend was angry with her family, and took it out on me, but I forgive her, I’m still smiling. Today is the first day in over 6 months where i have had a positive body image. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel big, but I am happy with myself today. This feeling, is so rare, and so today I decided to challenge my ED. I decided to make today a fear food challenge day, because what better day to do it than when you are feeling comfortable in your own skin. For those of you who are thinking what the heck is a “fear food”, it is any food that I have made scary to myself over the years due to the calories that are in it. I stay far away from food I honestly would probably still love, but I am too terrified to eat it. Pasta, seafood, chocolate, pizza, just to name a few. So today I went out to lunch with my friend, and I ate out. I was a normal girl today. I was aware that I was eating a lot of calories, and yes I feel guilty, but today my ED will not win, today I win. Today I am keeping this food inside of me, and tomorrow will probably be back to freaking out and back to restricting and hating myself for what I did today, but I will worry about that when it comes. Because today is today, and I am doing okay.